Why is Barry Manilow on my IPOD?

(Written on October 29th)

Let me just get this out of the way…

I'm seeing motherf'ing New Kids on the Block today. Apparently, some people have found that amusing and even slightly pathetic, but I couldn't care less. When I was ten and slept on NKOTB sheets (and so did you, so don't even begin to pretend) my Mom stood in line for fifteen hours (it was actually two, but she'll swear it was more) just to get me tickets, but they were sold out.

I waited by the window for her to come home, and started crying as soon as I saw the look on her face when she turned the corner to our building. I would be no closer to Donnie Wahlberg than my bed sheets.

Last night, I mentioned to her that they were going to be in town tonight. She laughed. She told her story about the fifteen hours, and apologized for the emotional scar that the incident left on my psyche. The conversation that followed went something like this:

Me: I want to go to the concert.
Mom: Seriously? (She looked at me, horribly disgusted. I had Danny in my arms, and by all accounts, am obviously a grown ass person.)
Me: I'm freaking serious.
Mom: Wow, that's interesting.

I called her today to tell her I got tickets. I was on the verge of happy tears. Again, she says, "Seriously?" And then, "You're too sarcastic. I never know when you're kidding, and I thought you were playing a joke on me." New Kids on the Block, a joke? That's sacrilege. She still thinks I'm screwing with her. She called me ten minutes later to apologize for not taking me seriously. I couldn't stop laughing.

And onward….

Danny started saying, "Hi, Lola," about a month ago. We were all, "Who in the f' is Lola?" No Lola at daycare, no Lola that we know, who knows. We all (all being my Mom and I) got in the habit of calling him Lola. My Dad refused, and said, "Stop calling him that. What are you doing to him?" That was a week after he expressed concern that my mother and I allowed him to wear headbands (he likes them, seriously) and carry around a purse.

One day, out of the blue, a song came to me, and the song went something like this…

"His name was LOLA, he was a SHOWBOY."

That's right, I remixed it. Danny absolutely loved when I sang it. He would do the side step, the snake (where he shakes his head back and forth, kinda like Busta Rhymes on that Pepsi commercial) and he even drops it like it's hot on occasion.

I'm at work one day, and I think to download the song on my IPOD. As I'm doing it, I'm literally shaking my head, thinking, I'm putting Barry Manilow on my IPOD. What is happening?

I pick Danny up from daycare, and am so freaking excited to play him the song. I love to see him bob and weave in the backseat…such a glorious sight. I cue the song, and he's unimpressed. I could be playing Celine Dion's Greatest Hits for all he cares. I turn back and say, "Do you UNDERSTAND what I did for you? Barry Manilow! On MY IPOD? SERIOUSLY!" He remains unimpressed. Did you know the Copa Cabana is the hottest spot north of Havana? I do.

The things you do for love.

And that's how Barry Manilow got on my IPOD.